It’s been a long and hard road, but you’ve finally done it. After months of court dates and negotiations, you’re finally divorced. Once a divorce is finalized, there’s only one question on everyone’s minds.
Divorce is one of the most stressful events people can go through. They’re often long, drawn-out legal battles that can take months or years to go through. After you’ve experienced a life event that intense, it’s only natural to start thinking about what’s next for you.
Have you considered making a post divorce checklist? You’ve been incredibly organized about getting your life in order to go through a divorce. Now it’s time for you to put the same amount of effort into focusing on your new life.
If you’re looking for things to do after a divorce, you’ve come to the right place. We’re going to help you make sure that you live your post-separation life to the fullest!
The Ultimate Post Divorce Checklist
When you’re going through a divorce it’s easy to get focused on the present. You tend to forget that your life is drastically changing and that you’re essentially in an entirely new chapter of it.
The key to living your best life after a divorce is to focus on what’s best for you and the people that are most important to you in your life. It’s time to focus on what you need to thrive in your post-divorce life.
Now that the dust has settled and you’re ready to focus on a new you, make sure you follow these tips now that you’re ready to move on to your new life.
1. Find a New Hobby
Do you suddenly find that you have a lot more free time? Are you finding yourself dwelling on some of the more upsetting parts of your divorce? Is there something you’ve always wanted to do but never did?
If you find yourself answering yes to any of those questions, it’s time to consider getting a hobby.
Hobbies are a great way to learn new skills, take up free time, and learn new ways to express yourself. You’ve just spent so much time focusing on your divorce, now you need to fill up your time with other things.
Don’t be afraid to do something a bit daring. Some people are happy learning how to craft or knit, other people want to learn how to fly planes or do karate. Regardless of what you choose, make sure it’s something that you enjoy.
2. Get Mental Health Support
You had plenty of friends and family to help you throughout your divorce. They’re still an excellent support system to have, but now is the time to consider getting some extra help.
We mentioned before that divorce is one of the most stressful things a person can experience. The dissolution of a marriage is a heavy topic to process and you shouldn’t do it on your own.
Therapists can help you navigate your post-divorce feelings and can be a great support system. If you have children that were involved in the divorce you may want to consider getting a therapist for them as well.
There are also in-person support groups, chatrooms, and forums for people dealing with a divorce. These can also be great ways for you to make new friends and sort through your feelings.
3. Talk to a Financial Planner
When you go through a divorce you aren’t just losing extra income from your ex-spouse. Retirement and 401k contributions can change, you may no longer have access to certain stocks and investments, and you may need to deal with child support or alimony.
That’s why we recommend speaking with a financial planner as soon as possible. They’ll be able to take an in-depth look at your finances and figure out the best way to save and thrive and your new situation.
4. Don’t Keep Tabs on the Ex
Did you see your ex post a flirty picture with someone half their age? Did they dye their hair or go through a huge physical transformation? Are they posting another political rant that you can’t help but roll your eyes at?
If you find yourself constantly getting annoyed at your ex, ask yourself this one important question: How much does this really affect me now?
You still may be raw from the divorce and the temptation to see how your ex is doing may be strong. However, if you truly want to heal and move on, don’t spend your time dwelling on what your ex is doing.
Be polite when you’re picking up the kids and stay civil when you see them out in public. Resist the urge to check their social profiles to see how they’re doing.
Remember, you’re free to live your life any way you want and so are they. Unless they’re doing something that could negatively affect your children or your life, let it be.
5. Focus on Your Family’s New Normal
Divorce isn’t just the dissolution of a marriage. In cases where children are involved, it’s the complete and total change of a family dynamic.
There are new two households, two schedules, and in some cases new parents to deal with. This is why it’s important to start to focus on ways to help everyone get used to the new way you live your lives.
Talk to your ex about the best way to keep your kids on the same routine. Talk to your kids about how they’re feeling about everything and try to do what you can to make them more comfortable.
6. Work on Potential Legal Changes
Are you unhappy with your current custody agreement? Do you feel like you aren’t getting enough money in child support? Have alimony payments been draining your bank account?
Your divorce may be final, but there are certain terms of it that can change. If you’re unhappy with certain parts of your divorce you may have the ability to change them.
Talk to your lawyers about what’s troubling you about the divorce. You may be surprised at everything they can do to help you. Sometimes just filing a motion or a simple hour in court can get you what you need.
7. Date Carefully
Some people may be eager to jump back into the dating pool. Others may feel like they need more time before they think about relationships again. There may even be some that may never want to date again and just want to focus on themselves.
It’s okay to turn down the offer to be fixed up by a friend, and it’s also okay to ask your friends to help you find someone ASAP. You can casually date and not look for anything serious, or you can only want to date to find love and get married again.
Regardless of how you feel about future relationships, just make sure that you take your time and do everything at your own pace.
8. Get Active
Regardless of if you haven’t worked out in years or if you follow a strict routine, focus on getting active and exercising after your divorce.
Exercise is a great way to practice self-care and give yourself a nice mood boost. It’s important to pay attention to your body and to do what you can to live your healthiest life possible.
Consider signing up for a fun class to take at a gym and bring a friend. Or consider going on your own and making new friends.
9. Make New Friends
Some people have heard the classic joke that someone’s ex won their friends in the divorce. Sadly, some people are going to experience that joke first hand after their divorce is done.
Sometimes the mutual friends you had with your spouse may start to drift away. Family bonds that you had with your ex’s side of the family will start to fizzle out. That’s why it’s important to focus on ways for you to make new friends once you’re finished with your divorce.
Luckily, a lot of the things we’ve mentioned on this list are great ways to meet new people and form new bonds. Getting a new hobby, exercising, and sometimes even going out on dates can help you find new friends.
10. Do the One “Thing” You Could Never Do
You’re an adventurous eater but your ex could live off of burgers and fries for the rest of their lives. You’ve always wanted to travel abroad but your ex was never interested. You’ve had the perfect tattoo in mind for years but you know your ex hated them.
Now that the divorce is finally over, it’s time to indulge in some of the things you could never do with your ex. Think about the one thing you love that your spouse hated that you can now fully enjoy.
Also, take a little time to celebrate that there are some things you’ll never have to do again to keep your ex happy. Once you focus on some of the positive changes in your divorce you start to realize that this new life has a lot of benefits.
Love Your New You
Navigating life after the end of a marriage is difficult. That’s why we hope this post divorce checklist can help give you some guidance as you move on to the next chapter of your life.
Now that you have your checklist, it’s time to start following the advice on it.
Are you ready to choose your new hobby? Do you have a new workout routine you want to try out? Browse the other helpful posts on our site to help you make your new life!