Experiencing Communication Issues With Your Spouse? Fix Them With These Tips

Marriage is a lifelong commitment that thrives on so many elements, including selflessness, humility, patience, forgiveness, honesty, trust, and one of the most underrated of them all, communication.

Communication is the lifeblood of a successful marriage or any relationship whatsoever. When you open channels to have clear and meaningful communication with your spouse, there is usually a significant amount of trust and understanding, hence a better relationship.

On the flip side, lack of communication results in a marriage marred with stagnancy, wrong assumptions, neglects, and all attributes that contribute to a failed union. If your marriage is slowly drifting to a collapse based on recurring communication issues with your spouse, you need to act before it is too late.

Acting fast involves acknowledging that there is a communication gap and fixing the issue with the following tips.  Before we hop into how to fix communication issues, what are the signs you need to improve communication?

Signs you need to improve communication.

Sometimes, it can be difficult and frustrating trying to figure out why things aren’t getting better despite the effort you put into communicating with your spouse. It could be so because you or your spouse lack good communication skills, or there is an underlying issue that needs to be thrashed out first before you make headway.

Remember, the right communication is like a relationship catalyst. Not only does it help achieve great relationship results, but it also makes the relationship blossom. But what are the signs that you need to improve communication?

Common signs that indicate a gap in communication between spouses are:

• One way communication
• Negative talks
• Disrespecting feelings
• “You” statement
• Getting too personal

What do you do if you notice any of these signs or other signs that point out failed communication with your spouse?

Here are a few tips.

1. Destroy communication barriers

In a marriage, communication should be necessary, like the air you breathe or the pressing need to eat when hungry. Successful marriages thrive on what we call open communication. Hence, when this is lacking, your marriage may suffer.

To avoid this, you’ll have to leave no room for barriers regarding how you communicate with your spouse. Always have it in mind that good communication thrives on openness. Openness in this context means the ability to talk freely with your spouse concerning any subject whatsoever. Openness doesn’t involve hiding certain truths from your spouse or failing to talk about certain subjects.

2. Remain in the present

So, you caught your spouse kissing his ex, and you forgave him. But, whenever you get into a little misunderstanding, you often bring up the matter. That is certainly not a good communication skill. Digging up the past can be likened to peeling off a healed wound; whenever you do that, regardless of when you’ll often feel the pain.

So always ensure that you keep all communication in the present, as doing so can help improve communication in a relationship.

3. Listen more and speak less

Whenever you find yourself talking to your spouse, especially during a heated argument, the need to talk more and discard whatever the other individual says arises. You find yourself yelling in order to subdue the hearer’s voice: a habit I would consider bad, especially in a marriage or a relationship.

When talking to your spouse, be it during a heated argument or a casual conversation, always give room for the individual to talk. Don’t interrupt until the individual is done. In fact, Listen more and talk less because when you do, you’ll understand what the other individual is saying and know how to respond better.

Of course, lots of us would say “listening more and talking less” is a well-known cliché due to its prevalence. But, regardless, it remains a key element to improving communication and building a better marriage.

4. Consider couple therapy

Let’s face it. All marriages experience good and bad times. There will be times when you feel so happy and loved that you wish you could pause time and relive the moment over and over again. On the other hand, there will be times when things between you and your spouse get so bad that you consider quitting your once-blissful marriage.

But, rather than quit your marriage based on a spell of bad experiences which a lack of effective communication can cause, why not strive to fix it. You can do so by attending couples counseling, where you and your couple put all differences aside and work towards figuring out the issues with your relationship and fixing them.

5. Be attentive to non-verbal communications

Nonverbal communication involves communicating with non-verbal signs. Being able to understand these signs and act accordingly is key to a healthy marriage or relationship.

As someone who wants to improve communication with your spouse, it makes sense to adopt body language during an interaction. These languages, sometimes, speak louder than words.

A few common examples are facial expressions, which could be a lack of eye contact, a sign of dishonesty, or disinterest. Or gestures like crossed arms, a sign of being closed off or feeling attacked. There are more of these signs, which can only be noted and interpreted when you pay close attention to the individual you are talking to.

6. Always prioritize face-to-face communication

If you prefer talking about important issues with your friends via social media platforms, you can be forgiven for such an act. But, when you always thrash out important issues with your spouse via social media, texts, phone calls, or any means that doesn’t involve a face-to-face meeting, you are surely getting it wrong. Why?

Because when you talk to your spouse about important issues via these means, you may end up leaving loose ends since they restrict your ability to express yourself better. These forms of relationship communication have a goal. Unfortunately, having meaningful communication isn’t one of them.

Conclusion

Effective communication remains the bedrock of a successful relationship. But, this doesn’t mean it is as easy as ABC. If you are experiencing communication issues with your spouse and fixing them with these tips isn’t working, consider seeing a therapist. You can do so alone or with your spouse to fix any underlying issues.